i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
