i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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