u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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