he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
