she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
