dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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