we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
