Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
