Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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