somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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