pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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