We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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