this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
