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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Mommy issues

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You're gonna judge me.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Howd you sleep with him already

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  They're like sad pomegranates.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...

  (425): View more from Washington

  The subtweets were good enough

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• (619): View more from California

  i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME

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• (914): View more from New York

  It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.

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• (939): View more from Puerto Rico

  So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I've had more orgasms than showers this week.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.

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