Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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