The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
