I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize