Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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