Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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