I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
