he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
