Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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