well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
