Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize