Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
