Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
