i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
