She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
