She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
