please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
