is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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