the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
