The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
