Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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