i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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