D3 body, D1 cock
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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