You're completely useless in the revolution.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
