is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
