Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
