Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
