Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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