tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Who died my cat blue again?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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