i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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