So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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