12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
