well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I would ride that face into the sunset
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
