It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
