So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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