I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
