He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
