Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
