i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
