dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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