im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
