I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
