You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize