i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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