i permit you to call me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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