This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize